It's like Far Cry and Mirrors Edge got married and then later had a divorce and Mirrors Edge married Dead Island. They had a baby but the baby actually belonged to Far Cry and Mirrors Edge knew that but Dead Island was all, "What the fuck is this, where are the zombies?" And then they had another baby and this one belonged to Dead Island and Dead Island found out that Mirrors Edge was lying to him so Dead Island shot his wife and then himself. So then afterwards Far Cry's kid and Dead Island's kid had incest, and out popped Dying Light... So yeah Dying Light is pretty good.

This game taught me many things about real life: Episode 1: I was locked out of my house last week, and I realized I had a paper clip and pocket knife in my car. I figured, "this will be a cinch" I started to pick my lock: click, click. Sh%#. Paper clip broke. Yep, lock is ruined. *Hops wall, grabs key from under mat, and enters through back door* Wife: "Why the hell did you come in from the back?" Me: "I locked myself out" Wife: "Why didn't you just knock?" Me: "I've been trying to learn parkour." *parkour into back room* Pursuit evaded. Episode 2: I have to take the trash out, but it's getting dark outside. Wife: "the trash is still overflowing" Me: "True, but its almost dark. I don't think I can risk it." Wife: "Risk what?" Me: *looks at couch; chooses to wait until morning* I wake up. Wife: "now that it's light out, how about that trash?" Me: "HELL YEAH. DOING IT!" *Grabs machete out of closet; ties up trash bag* Wife: "what the hell is with the sword?" Me: *parkour into front yard* Trash delivered. I feel stronger. Episode 3: It's night time. Wierd noise on roof. Feeling unusually brave, I grab my new teddy bear (aka my machete) from under my pillow. Using my parkour skills I climb up my aluminum rain gutter. Rain gutter buckles under my weight and I crash to the ground. Startled, the cat on my roof scampers away. Mission accomplished. Episode 4: My wife and I make dinner. I am cutting vegetables with a Hardened Beef Cleaver. I go to the bedroom and grab my Machete. I lay the Machete and Beef Cleaver on the counter. Me: "Which of these is better?" Wife: "For what? Why have you been acting so wierd lately?" Me: "Agreed." *Chops carrots with machete* 11/10 Would take this course again in the Spring. The Following taught me even more about real life: Episode 5: Been training for awhile now with Teddy. Let’s just say we eat a lot of squirrel for dinner. Came across a Javelina unexpectedly while trying to fix our stupid water pump (living in SW USA) and realized my skills weren’t exactly “legendary.” Teddy failed. I failed. I ran. Wife understood, but I could see the disappointment in her eyes. So, naturally, I think, “F-THIS” *Jumps through kitchen window; hoofs it to the tool shed* *Sets Teddy on the workbench, grabs tazer, duct tapes tazer to Teddy, wraps metal wiring from tazer around blade, activate tazer, Teddy lights up like a F’in Christmas tree* YEAH! *Heads back to water pump* Javelina is there, staring me in the GD face like a drunken frat kid. “OH, I’LL COME AT YOU BRO” *Charges Javelina, Teddy sparks like a damn firework* Wake up 3 days later in the hospital with a giant gash in my side. I see the blurry outline of my wife, “Did I get him?” Wife: “No, he got away; the cops took your weapon.” I pass out again. Episode 6: After some time at the hospital, I come home, wrap some alcoholic gauze around my arm like thirty times, and I’m back to full strength. Wife: “Did you hurt your arm too?” *Looks at gauzed up hand* Me: “I need more firepower.” *Looks at wife* Me: “Honey, do you trust me?” Wife: “No! I absolutely do not trust your judgment right now. You just nearly died!” Me: “Exactly! We need wheels.” *Grabs car keys, limps out the door* Me: “I’m gonna need more gauze.” Episode 7: I return home with PigF$&%er, my sweet new buggy. I honk the horn in the driveway. I stand brandishing my recovered Teddy in all his glory and as my wife opens the door, I activate taze mode. Teddy lights up like a damn sword with a tazer attached to it. Wife: *closes door* I realize she’ll only love me again if I kill this swine. *Buggy screeches out into the night* Experience Doubled.

-Buddy and I decide to buy Dying Light at 3am -I need Steam card so I go to the 7-11 -The only close 7-11 is in the ghetto -Go to said ghetto and witness many ghetto things -Buy steam card and a peach Snapple iced tea -Get home and start playing said game -Realize this game has kept me up till 6am -Realize I love this game -Realize some good things do come from the ghetto 11/10- Would go back to the hood again

Before I played: ＼＼ ＿ 　　 ＼( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 　　　 <　⌒ヽ 　　　/ 　 へ＼ 　　 /　　/　＼＼ 　　 ﾚ　ノ　　 ヽ_つ 　　/　/ 　 /　/| 　(　(ヽ 　|　|、＼ 　| 丿 ＼ ⌒) 　| |　　) / `ノ )　　Lﾉ After I played: ／ﾌﾌ 　　　　　　 　ム｀ヽ / ノ) 　）　ヽ / ｜　　( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°）ノ⌒（ゝ._,ノ /　ﾉ⌒7⌒ヽーく　 ＼　／ 丶＿ ノ ｡　　 ノ､　｡|/ 　　 `ヽ `ー-'_人`ーﾉ 　　　 丶 ￣ _人'彡) EDIT: Okay I am actually going to write a review of the game here. SECOND EDIT: I'm just going to randomly change my actual review to make it better from time to time. Like now. So Dying Light is a first-person, parkour, zombie, survival game with three basic skill trees, a fourth you unlock later, and a fifth in The Following DLC. This game has a great story, where you play as a conflicted protagonist named Kyle Crane. He works for an organization named "The GRE." He is told to jump into the city of Harran, a city taken over by the zombie virus, and quarantined by the rest of the world. You dive in, and within two minutes, you are bitten. There is still hope, however, when you are given antizin. Antizin is like a cure, but it fades away over time, and you have to take another shot, therefore it is only a suppressant. The reason you jump in is to find a rogue GRE agent who has files that supposedly lead to the cure of the virus. They have you betray your friends, almost killing innocent people, to find these files, just to find out the GRE Is corrupt. Hence, being the "conflicted" protagonist. The gameplay is really amazing as well. The graphics are smooth, but require a NASA computer to run without lag. My computer is absolutely amazing, and I even have a lag spike from time to time. Almost everyone does so it might be a glitch, but who knows? There is a twenty four hour day cycle, but luckily, not in real time. From six in the morning to ten at night is the time you would want to get things done when you just start playing. From ten at night to six in the morning however, that's for the suicidal, and the veterans (Explained later in the review). You have to parkour across the map to survive, and find weapons from people you kill, or places across the map. The best way to get weapons, however is obviously the traders you can frequently find. The weapons have a durability and a certain amount of times it can be repaired with metal parts before becoming permanently useless. The level system is very unique. Like all level systems, you have to do certain things to level it up. What's unique about it, is there are three different skills to level up, and all three are leveled up differently. The exp gained for each skill tree is simply classified by " Points". Survivor points are gained by completing story, or side missions. You can also save survivors from enemies, or turn in airdrops you can grab from random places at random times, or the quarantine zone missions scattered around the map. Agility points are gained by doing parkour. Even climbing a simple ledge will give you agility points. Power points are gained by attacking enemies. Hitting them will give a few, killing them will give a couple hundred, depending on your levels. When you get high levels with each tree, you will be amazed with what you can achieve. Each level will give you a point to spend for that specific tree you just leveled up. The survivor tree will give you general abilities, and every survivor level you go up by, will allow you to find better weapons automatically. No perk needed. The agility tree will give you more parkour moves and running stamina, and the power tree will give you more attacks and attacking stamina. The last tree, outside of the DLC, is called the Legend tree. The legend tree can only be unlocked when you max out at least one of the first three. Then, every point you gain that would've gone to the tree you maxed, will go to your legend. This tree upgrades your character, increasing general stamina, all damage with certain weapons, maximum health, etc. When you become high level in each tree, you will be amazed what you can achieve and what your weapons can do. For example, I am a max level Survivor, Agility and Power, and I am a level 101 legend. My best melee weapon does 5000 damage, and my favorite shotgun does 9000. To compare, the weapons you start with do 30. Night time takes away the annoying zombies called Virals, but adds in the vicious zombie called Volatiles. Volatiles are faster than the player, meaning you need to make the chase as complex as possible to survive them if they see you. They are powerful and have a large amount of health, as well as not being able to be knocked back by anything other than explosions. Don't dropkick them, I've tried and it doesn't work. The Following DLC gives a new story, and a nep map with it. You play as Kyle Crane again, and it takes place after the end of the original storyline. You venture out of Harran city, to the outskirts, which is still quarantined off. You go out to find a cure because the antizin supply is running low, and in the process, you gain a buggy to travel across this maps large, and flat terrain. The fifth skill tree, is the driving skill. Leveled up by destroying things with your buggy, killing enemies, and traveling at high speeds. New kinds of missions and weapons are unlocked, such as the SMG and revolver for weapons, and Volatile Hives for new missions. I definitely recommend this DLC, especially if you have a friend who has it too. The co-op can be so much fun. This is my favorite game of all time, I recommend it 42/10

threw a molotov at a crying child 10/10

spent an entire night on a pole because i couldnt make it to a safe house 10/10

Imagine if Dead Island wasn't a wonky, glitch-filled mess. Imagine you could freerun, go anywhere, do anything, meet weird people, and occasionally judo throw a zombie off a roof. Imagine getting a running start and drop kicking a zombie so hard his body gets stuck in the geometry of the map. You don't have to imagine it, I've lived it. Follow me. 10/10

2/10 didnt get what i expected. was hoping to get a game about repairing light fixtures, instead got one about zombies, but the 60fps is cool i guess

2015 Ebola simulator.

Before I played: ＼＼ ＿ 　　 ＼( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 　　　 <　⌒ヽ 　　　/ 　 へ＼ 　　 /　　/　＼＼ 　　 ﾚ　ノ　　 ヽ_つ 　　/　/ 　 /　/| 　(　(ヽ 　|　|、＼ 　| 丿 ＼ ⌒) 　| |　　) / `ノ )　　Lﾉ After I played: ／ﾌﾌ 　　　　　　 　ム｀ヽ / ノ) 　）　ヽ / ｜　　( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°）ノ⌒（ゝ._,ノ /　ﾉ⌒7⌒ヽーく　 ＼　／ 丶＿ ノ ｡　　 ノ､　｡|/ 　　 `ヽ `ー-'_人`ーﾉ 　　　 丶 ￣ _人'彡)

Mirrors Zombie Edge Island. 10/10

A zombie game that actually calls them zombies.

Openly lets you break a crying child's neck *snap* 10/10 *snap* would break childrens necks some more *snappitysnapsnap*

60 FPS No Crashing Very pretty graphics. Not clunky Guns actually work like guns (looking at you Dead Island) Zombies are satisfying to kill.

Best dropkick simulator I've played. 11/10

An intense version of the floor is lava.

Experienced a bug, reported it, got banned by anticheat. Asked developer support, they agree that bug existed, but can't do anything, advised contacting valve anticheat. Contacted anticheat, was ignored. Contacted steam support, they won't/can't do anything. No more multiplayer in a game bought for multiplayer. Now i will make another account and buy another copy there. Good job selling two copies of the game to one person.

It has a FOV slider. GOTY

If the light is dying, just change the light bulb. Otherwise you might end up with a zombie apocalypse on your arms

Wtf does Techland think they are doing? Did they miss the memo? You aren't supposed to release a fully fleshed out, well optimized game on day one. You have to fund lackluster development with "Pre-Alpha" exclusive monetization and drip feed players the content. As if that wasn't bad enough, they decide to remain closely involved with the community, releasing updates regularly, even while developing another game? These guys are killing the established order of things! How are developers supposed to keep up? What, are they expected to just "make games"? That's like giving away money. Honestly, I couldn't be more proud of these guys.

It's like Far Cry and Mirrors Edge got married and then later had a divorce and Mirrors Edge married Dead Island. They had a baby but the baby actually belonged to Far Cry and Mirrors Edge knew that but Dead Island was all, "What the ♥♥♥♥ is this, where are the zombies?" And then they had another baby and this one belonged to Dead Island and Dead Island found out that Mirrors Edge was lying to him so Dead Island shot his wife and then himself. So then afterwards Far Cry's kid and Dead Island's kid had incest, and out popped Dying Light... So yeah Dying Light is pretty good.

This is a great game. How often have I not decided to go do this quest a few hours before sundown thinking "plenty of time" only on the way to the objective I stumble on some other stuff to do, like this dude that wants help retrieving his fishing rod or something. *Looks at sun* "sure I can do that, plenty of time still". Then only 5 minutes before night, I complete the mission and reallize how close to evil night I am. Frantically begin sprinting and parkouring for the nearest safehouse. On the way I find a police van practically unguarded! Knowing how good the loot can get in these police vans I just gotta open it and get the goodies. After all it could be rifle ammo, or a new shiny weapon! Im usually not more than a minute or so picking the lock. Done looting, but oh shit! it's almost 20:00, my watch is beeping, night is coming now! A few hundred yeards from the safehouse still it's too late, monsters emerges and I need to slow down and try to stealth my way back. Jumping over a fence I dump down practically in front of a dreaded volatile. Knowing it can rip me to shreds in seconds I flash my ultra violet lamp in it's general direction and decide to beeline straight for the safehouse. Several horrible grows tearing the silence behind me and action music fills my veins with adrenaline as I sprint for my life. From the growls I gather that several volatiles have joined in the hunt. Jumping down into a shallow wide crevice with a cracked concret pipe running in the middle I quickly slip into the pipe and crouch down in the corner hoping no one saw me go in. The monsters are shambling around on the outside with the distinct sound of them breathing. Sounds like air being sucked through shredded meat. But I think they don't know where I am. Then glorious "pursuit evaded" message appears. Phew. I now pay attention to the search cones on the minimap and successfully sneaks back to the tower.

Pretty accurate COVID-19 simulator, would recommend. 8/10

I died more times from falling than from zombies.

Devs updated existing version of the game to Enhanced for free. FOR FREE. "State of Decay" devs, take a lesson please.