
Subnautica
Aug 12, 2016
Aug 12, 2016
Dec 24, 2015
Jun 7, 2023
Jun 22, 2023
Aug 8, 2015
Mar 19, 2015
Feb 8, 2016
Jun 11, 2016
Nov 7, 2015
Jan 5, 2018
Mar 21, 2020
Jun 17, 2015
Dec 28, 2016
Jun 21, 2023
Jun 25, 2016
Jun 24, 2015
Jun 22, 2023
Feb 6, 2017
Mar 7, 2015
Dec 1, 2017
Jun 23, 2017
Jun 22, 2023
Mar 1, 2016
Jul 1, 2024
Feb 25, 2015

76561198071212238

Recommended120 hrs played (34 hrs at review)
Has a lot more "depth" than No Mans Sky. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
2806 votes funny
76561198071212238

Recommended120 hrs played (34 hrs at review)
Has a lot more "depth" than No Mans Sky. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
2806 votes funny
76561197997068175

Recommended153 hrs played (14 hrs at review)
I thought i saw food.
Plot twist: I was the food.
10/10 would become fish food again.
2439 votes funny
76561198166420145

Recommended3 hrs played (1 hrs at review)
Can't wait to play this game with my favorite Logitech controller
2099 votes funny
76561198149600994

Recommended4 hrs played (4 hrs at review)
do not play this game with a logitech G F710 wireless gamepad, worst mistake of my life
1800 votes funny
76561198054197553

Not Recommended198 hrs played (102 hrs at review)
Stop looking at the negative reviews.
Buy this god damn game.
NOTE: I update this thread periodically to evaluate the games performance as it evolves. Check back every few months for a little tidbit extra.
August 8th, 2015:
Where was I? Oh yes.
I wont tell you about the amazing visuals, sound, and loads of new content being rolled out by the responsive devs, Ill leave all the good points to the other 94% of writings on this game. Instead ill tell you why the 6% of negative reviews arent representative.
Ive read through about half of the complaints and the primary complaints are lack of content, and some lag.
People: The devs themselves currently claim there is only about 2 hours of content. This is well known. This is no secret. If you come and buy a game whos makers are TELLING you this, and then complain of (Current) lack of content, you shouldnt downvote the game, you should downvote youir own lack of research. And besides, theyre working really hard to fix that already and are doing a great job of it with regular community updates.
And yes, as you also may of noticed the game looks AMAZING. While there are video settings, some computers simply cant handle the beta-optimization of this game. The devs already fixed many lag issues, instant memory crashes, ect. but its not perfect. You will need a modern/decent computer to run this, but not state of the art.
Note: many older performance-related reviews are now irrelevant. Take them with a grain of salt.
However, once again people, there is a minimum system requirement DIRECTLY underneath the "About Game" section of this page for god sakes. Read it. Once again, many who bought the game and did not like it, did'nt glance at the current needs of the game, and therfore should blame themselves for poor foresight, and not the devs for poor game design.
And they're working on further improving performance.
And to top it all off, there are almost no game breaking bugs, just small nuanced visual glitches like hollow objects, fish stuck in odd rocks, ect. Very minor and easily ignored. No inventory wipes, no spawn glitches, no stat swings, or sudden drops in thirst or hunger, and the game will even try and warn you when a crash is about to happen, giving you precious time to save and restart to continue where you left off.
So please, for gods sake, remember that every issue with this game is simply out of the devs control at the moment. Early access games are sometimes laggy, buggy, and with lower content than the finished versions. The fact that games spend time in this early stage is no ones fault. Just be sure you know what your buying when you buy it.
BUY THIS GAME.
EDIT:
For those posting to the tune of "Dont give this game a negative review if you want it to fly" ect. When I wrote this review, I thought the way I could make the biggest impact is by writing directly to the wary buyers who might be looking at old, outdated, or non-game related complaints as justification not to support this game. And where better to write to them than here in the negative reviews?
For those singing to the the other tune of "Dont skew the stats" ect. Doing simple math:
As of 8/15/2015, there are 4,509 total reviews for Subnautica.
This means that 1% of that is 45.09.(The equation is 4,509 x .01 = 45.09)
This means that AT LEAST 45 reviews would be needed to change the visible stats at all. So seeing as this review is 1/45th (0.02222) of what we would need to change anything for the devs, lay off. The added bonus of being seen far more often by the people who actually need to see it (Catious buyers) far outstrips the harm being done to this amazing game.
And to make this abundantly clear: THIS IS NOT ACTUALLY A NEGATIVE REVIEW.
Further Edit:
The date is now 11/18/15, and many many changes have come to subnautica since I origninally drafted this snarky attack on ignorant steam shoppers.
While many of my comments ideas still stand, Subnautica no longer has only 2 hours of playable content. While I estimate first time runthrough at about 15 hours if you take your time, I dont know the official opinion on game depth. Ill leave it to you to read up on exactly what theyve pumped out this month, but I can garentee you will get your money back in playable value. (Seamoth update is hype)
Further optimization, and the game crashes even less now... ECT ECT.
The game is still going strong in every regard.
10/10, would leave negative review again.
EDIT:
3/23/2016
In the name of fair play, I will have to now throw a warning to the wind. For some, my assesment of graphical stability is now overly optimistic. Ocassional drops in FPS do occur.
The recent geeneral visual upgrades means the game performance was somewhat impacted. While its nowhere near gamebreaking, some people may have more trouble on minimum graphics than others. It should be noted that this happened as a result of a MASSIVE shader and water texture overhaul, so its to be expected. This is by no means a case of Dev neglect.
Careful review of minimum system requirements and common sense should avoid any major issues. Game is totally playable.
Devs are working on a fix ASAP! All my other comments stand 100% to this day.
EDIT 5/19/2016:
I am happy to say all performance realted issues are solved despite all the graphics improving in texture, vibrancy, and depth.
New balancing changes and model updates, MORE CONTENT!
EDIT: 06/08/2016
Now with Nopesquids! Ft. Battery-Rechargers and beds. This sounds lame, but its actually a way bigger deal than you would ever suspect. New models for solar power!
Sea dragon / huge creature update on the horizon!
10/10 Would never leave shallow reef again.
EDIT: 09/19/2016
Development has taken off.
Lava lizard, Sea Dragon, and Lava Larvae are now functionally in the game. Additoinal assets of the precursors have been added, along with the completed PRAWN suit update. And lastly, dont forget about expanded Aurora compartments and data pads to check out, adding volumes to the implimented story. Incoming are sea emporer and the finishing touches to the Lost River biome.
But really what is most important right now is that we can now quit to the main menu, thank god.
EDIT: 02/04/2018
I stopped updating this thread some time ago, since development was happening faster than I could get around to writing about it. But enough of this thought:
Ladies and Gentelmen? SUBNAUTICA IS OUT.
This game, which I have supported for years, stands as a shining beacon of what Seam Early Access game should be. The Devs delivered a deep and compelling story woven through a complex and stunning world, at an extremley affordable price. Every cent spent in support of this amazing team is another dollar for devs who respect the consumers time and financial resources. I thank them for giving me the pleasure of exploration, suspense, and danger in a new environment rarley seen in gaming history. After so many soul-less abominations out of EA and other AAA titles in 2017, Subnautica is my refuge when I want to FEEL game, and not just play it.
It one of those titles where I wish I could erase my memory and experince, just so I could live through the wonder all over again. Its time to lay this thread to rest, guys. We did it together, as a community. Enjoy Subnautica.
So stop looking at the negative reviews. Buy this god damn game.
1679 votes funny
76561198059000206

Recommended23 hrs played (4 hrs at review)
The ocean is brighter than my future 420/10
1621 votes funny
76561198034019076

Recommended78 hrs played (13 hrs at review)
-Start Game
-Graphics are nice. Water is nice. Colors are nice. Game looks nice.
-Justkeepswimming
-Start getting hungry, catch fish and eat them.
-Exploring. Hey look, kelp.
-See big white fish approach me. Curious.
-It opens it's mouth
-DANGER WILL ROBINSON
-Throw fish from inventory to distract it.
-It eats fish and leaves. Relief is felt.
-White fish comes back. Uh oh...
-It has something in it's mouth.
-Drops it at my feet. It's metal...
-Me and the fish have a standing agrement now. I feed it and it gives me metal
11/10 would make fish friends again.
1572 votes funny
76561198099713982

Recommended52 hrs played (47 hrs at review)
Subnautica VR be like:
Before I played:
\\ _
\( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
< ⌒ヽ
/ へ\
/ / \\
レ ノ ヽ_つ
/ /
/ /|
( (ヽ
| |、\
| 丿 \ ⌒)
| | ) /
`ノ ) Lノ
After I played:
/フフ ム`ヽ
/ ノ) ,) ヽ
/ | ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)ノ⌒(ゝ._,ノ
/ ノ⌒7⌒ヽーく \ /
丶_ ノ 。 ノ、 。|/
`ヽ `ー-'_人`ーノ
丶  ̄ _人'彡)
I have to swim more...
1226 votes funny
76561198110882871

Recommended328 hrs played (156 hrs at review)
Here is where you should avoid.
Don't go to the Dunes, a desert looking place with pillars. It spawns a Reaper Leviathan.
Don't go to the Aurora. It spawns a Reaper Leviathan.
Don't go to the Mountains, you can get trapped on the island too. It spawns a Reaper Leviathan.
Don't go to the Deep Grand Reef, which is the deep end. It spawns a Reaper Ghost Leviathan.
Here is where you should go.
Nowhere, just stay in the raft and talk to Mr. Tissue, Mr. Coin, and Mr. Potato Chip because it is not safe outside.
10/10 would not go to the Dunes again. Ever.
EDIT: Now with Nopesquids!
EDIT EDIT: Don't be surprised if you find you've filled your stillsuit with piss my scuba lads.
Don't go to the Active Lava Zone, which is the deeper deep end. It spawns a Sea Dragon Leviathan.
Don't go to the Lost River, where there is water underwater. It spawns a Ghost Leviathan.
Don't swim out of the game you fool, stay out of the void. It spawns many GIANT Ghost Leviathans that want you to stay in the Dunes, Aurora, Mountains, Deep Grand Reef, Active Lava Zone, and Lost River.
1208 votes funny
76561198144029718

Recommended167 hrs played (17 hrs at review)
*starts game*
*explores the pod*
*spends 5 minutes looking for an exit*
*finally leaves the pod*
*explores everything around*
*finds stone, breaks it and gets copper*
*sees big fish, tries to punch it*
*dead*
*discovers the use of fabricator*
*starts making things*
*makes mobile vehicle bay*
*builds a seamoth after 2 hours of gameplay*
*goes exploring*
*hears a terrifying roar*
*looks back*
*huge white thing with 4 mandibles(later i discovered the name was reaper) gets me in the seamoth*
*has a heart attack*
*seamoth is destroyed*
*quits game*
*still having a heart attack*
10/10 increased my fear of the sea
1155 votes funny
76561197967844955

Recommended66 hrs played (45 hrs at review)
This game makes me severely wet
1132 votes funny
76561198105428813

Recommended1 hrs played (1 hrs at review)
I can see my feet.
10/10
873 votes funny
76561198145239905

Recommended6 hrs played
Has a lot more "depth" than No Mans Sky. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
844 votes funny
76561198069034473

Recommended15 hrs played (15 hrs at review)
Billionaire tax dodger simulator.
839 votes funny
76561197994776966

Recommended161 hrs played (26 hrs at review)
This is like Finding Nemo simulator except you kidnap Nemo and all his friends and cook them with a laser microwave so you don't starve to death in the ocean. Also there's scary fish that kill you.
780 votes funny
76561198119497765

Recommended28 hrs played (4 hrs at review)
1- Wanted to build a huge submarine
2- Realised that it would take a long time
3- Told myself to..... JUST DO IT!!!!!!
4- Built a submarine
5- Crashed it with in 2 minutes of building it
6- Cried for 6 days
14.52/10 would cry again ;)
737 votes funny
76561198297651779

Recommended66 hrs played (65 hrs at review)
Logitech controller doesn't work 💀💀💀
685 votes funny
76561198143096084

Recommended32 hrs played (12 hrs at review)
“
Here is where you should avoid.
Don’t go to the Dunes, a desert looking place with pillars. It spawns a Reaper Leviathan.
Don’t go to the Aurora. It spawns a Reaper Leviathan.
Don’t go to the Mountains, you can get trapped on the island too. It spawns a Reaper Leviathan.
Don’t go to the Deep Grand Reef, which is the deep end. It spawns a Reaper Leviathan.
Here is where you should go.
Nowhere, just stay in the raft and talk to Mr. Tissue, Mr. Coin, and Mr. Potato Chip because it is not safe outside.
”
659 votes funny
76561198090017297

Recommended8 hrs played (4 hrs at review)
absolutely terrifying, made it 3 kilometes deep, creep sound happend, scared and couldn't see, quit game.
12/10
571 votes funny
76561197997252595

Recommended65 hrs played (22 hrs at review)
I hate the ocean.
Now i hate it even more.
But i'll be damned if i let the ocean beat me.
569 votes funny
76561198068130909

Recommended115 hrs played (30 hrs at review)
I was kinda skeptical about buying this game at first, since most games i've bought in early access kindddaaa sucked majorly. Although I found a good deal on it and decided to try it out..
GAMEPLAY:
My first hour went a little like this;
"Oh this is actually a very pretty game"
"Where's all the land?"
"Look at all these crazy fish, they are so cute!"
"Wait what are you?... OHFUKMAN GET AWAY FROM ME"
"GET OFF MY ARM YOU SQUID WORM LEECH LOOKING THING"
"WHY IS EVERYTHING TRYING TO KILL ME??"
"This looks like a safe place... HOLY SH*T WHERE DID YOU COME FROM???"
This game takes all of your fears of the deep dark ocean and puts them on steroids, every time that little thought crosses your mind that your survival chance can't get any worse, it can and it will. It's almost like this game runs on your "I hope this doesn't happen" thoughts.
STORY:
The whole plot of the game is one of the biggest area's still being worked on, it's more focused on gameplay and mechanics at the moment. I have to say though, the general background and lore of the game is very interesting and i'm excited to play through it when it's finished.
PERFORMACE:
First off, when you read all the reviews about the crashing and "needing a beast computer to play" isn't true at all. I have never had a crash, none of my friends have ever crashed, and if you really can't run this game at a playable FPS then you probably need to stop trying to use a baked potato for a graphics card. This game is put together far better than most fully released games i've seen. Yes, my framerate isn't pushing 80-120fps BUT considering my laptop is about 3 years old and I still manage 30-50fps on a gorgeous game like this is amazing.There really aren't any serious bugs, the most you really run into is like a light glitch or maybe a fish getting stuck in the ground, nothing game breaking. The mechanics and actual gameplay are FANTASTIC, I have to give the dev's credits for a real original survival game (since almost every one of them now-a-days are about the same with either zombies, cannibals, or just nature; but underwater alien horror survival? That's new).
I HIGHLY recommend this game and if you actually read this shitty review, i'm sorry I suck at this. Just buy the damn game, it's worth every penny and you'll enjoy the hell out of it.
555 votes funny
76561198129280247

Recommended64 hrs played (64 hrs at review)
A good game but something is wrong with the drivers for the Logitech G F710 gamepad. I was piloting my cyclops near the wreck of the Aurora and suddenly lost the ability to move, eventually my batteries ran out and I died from lack of oxygen.
476 votes funny
76561198113396356

Recommended12 hrs played (11 hrs at review)
Nothing like going down so far into the ocean you can only hear the giant monster preparing to tear your face off. lovely.
454 votes funny
76561198332759027

Recommended31 hrs played (31 hrs at review)
Hello, Im under da water, please help me
445 votes funny
76561198013748040

Recommended2 hrs played (1 hrs at review)
Subnautica: The only game in wich your own submarine tries to kill you.
444 votes funny
Subnautica
Aug 12, 2016
Aug 12, 2016
Dec 24, 2015
Jun 7, 2023
Jun 22, 2023
Aug 8, 2015
Mar 19, 2015
Feb 8, 2016
Jun 11, 2016
Nov 7, 2015
Jan 5, 2018
Mar 21, 2020
Jun 17, 2015
Dec 28, 2016
Jun 21, 2023
Jun 25, 2016
Jun 24, 2015
Jun 22, 2023
Feb 6, 2017
Mar 7, 2015
Dec 1, 2017
Jun 23, 2017
Jun 22, 2023
Mar 1, 2016
Jul 1, 2024
Feb 25, 2015

76561198071212238

Recommended120 hrs played (34 hrs at review)
Has a lot more "depth" than No Mans Sky. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
2806 votes funny
76561198071212238

Recommended120 hrs played (34 hrs at review)
Has a lot more "depth" than No Mans Sky. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
2806 votes funny
76561197997068175

Recommended153 hrs played (14 hrs at review)
I thought i saw food.
Plot twist: I was the food.
10/10 would become fish food again.
2439 votes funny
76561198166420145

Recommended3 hrs played (1 hrs at review)
Can't wait to play this game with my favorite Logitech controller
2099 votes funny
76561198149600994

Recommended4 hrs played (4 hrs at review)
do not play this game with a logitech G F710 wireless gamepad, worst mistake of my life
1800 votes funny
76561198054197553

Not Recommended198 hrs played (102 hrs at review)
Stop looking at the negative reviews.
Buy this god damn game.
NOTE: I update this thread periodically to evaluate the games performance as it evolves. Check back every few months for a little tidbit extra.
August 8th, 2015:
Where was I? Oh yes.
I wont tell you about the amazing visuals, sound, and loads of new content being rolled out by the responsive devs, Ill leave all the good points to the other 94% of writings on this game. Instead ill tell you why the 6% of negative reviews arent representative.
Ive read through about half of the complaints and the primary complaints are lack of content, and some lag.
People: The devs themselves currently claim there is only about 2 hours of content. This is well known. This is no secret. If you come and buy a game whos makers are TELLING you this, and then complain of (Current) lack of content, you shouldnt downvote the game, you should downvote youir own lack of research. And besides, theyre working really hard to fix that already and are doing a great job of it with regular community updates.
And yes, as you also may of noticed the game looks AMAZING. While there are video settings, some computers simply cant handle the beta-optimization of this game. The devs already fixed many lag issues, instant memory crashes, ect. but its not perfect. You will need a modern/decent computer to run this, but not state of the art.
Note: many older performance-related reviews are now irrelevant. Take them with a grain of salt.
However, once again people, there is a minimum system requirement DIRECTLY underneath the "About Game" section of this page for god sakes. Read it. Once again, many who bought the game and did not like it, did'nt glance at the current needs of the game, and therfore should blame themselves for poor foresight, and not the devs for poor game design.
And they're working on further improving performance.
And to top it all off, there are almost no game breaking bugs, just small nuanced visual glitches like hollow objects, fish stuck in odd rocks, ect. Very minor and easily ignored. No inventory wipes, no spawn glitches, no stat swings, or sudden drops in thirst or hunger, and the game will even try and warn you when a crash is about to happen, giving you precious time to save and restart to continue where you left off.
So please, for gods sake, remember that every issue with this game is simply out of the devs control at the moment. Early access games are sometimes laggy, buggy, and with lower content than the finished versions. The fact that games spend time in this early stage is no ones fault. Just be sure you know what your buying when you buy it.
BUY THIS GAME.
EDIT:
For those posting to the tune of "Dont give this game a negative review if you want it to fly" ect. When I wrote this review, I thought the way I could make the biggest impact is by writing directly to the wary buyers who might be looking at old, outdated, or non-game related complaints as justification not to support this game. And where better to write to them than here in the negative reviews?
For those singing to the the other tune of "Dont skew the stats" ect. Doing simple math:
As of 8/15/2015, there are 4,509 total reviews for Subnautica.
This means that 1% of that is 45.09.(The equation is 4,509 x .01 = 45.09)
This means that AT LEAST 45 reviews would be needed to change the visible stats at all. So seeing as this review is 1/45th (0.02222) of what we would need to change anything for the devs, lay off. The added bonus of being seen far more often by the people who actually need to see it (Catious buyers) far outstrips the harm being done to this amazing game.
And to make this abundantly clear: THIS IS NOT ACTUALLY A NEGATIVE REVIEW.
Further Edit:
The date is now 11/18/15, and many many changes have come to subnautica since I origninally drafted this snarky attack on ignorant steam shoppers.
While many of my comments ideas still stand, Subnautica no longer has only 2 hours of playable content. While I estimate first time runthrough at about 15 hours if you take your time, I dont know the official opinion on game depth. Ill leave it to you to read up on exactly what theyve pumped out this month, but I can garentee you will get your money back in playable value. (Seamoth update is hype)
Further optimization, and the game crashes even less now... ECT ECT.
The game is still going strong in every regard.
10/10, would leave negative review again.
EDIT:
3/23/2016
In the name of fair play, I will have to now throw a warning to the wind. For some, my assesment of graphical stability is now overly optimistic. Ocassional drops in FPS do occur.
The recent geeneral visual upgrades means the game performance was somewhat impacted. While its nowhere near gamebreaking, some people may have more trouble on minimum graphics than others. It should be noted that this happened as a result of a MASSIVE shader and water texture overhaul, so its to be expected. This is by no means a case of Dev neglect.
Careful review of minimum system requirements and common sense should avoid any major issues. Game is totally playable.
Devs are working on a fix ASAP! All my other comments stand 100% to this day.
EDIT 5/19/2016:
I am happy to say all performance realted issues are solved despite all the graphics improving in texture, vibrancy, and depth.
New balancing changes and model updates, MORE CONTENT!
EDIT: 06/08/2016
Now with Nopesquids! Ft. Battery-Rechargers and beds. This sounds lame, but its actually a way bigger deal than you would ever suspect. New models for solar power!
Sea dragon / huge creature update on the horizon!
10/10 Would never leave shallow reef again.
EDIT: 09/19/2016
Development has taken off.
Lava lizard, Sea Dragon, and Lava Larvae are now functionally in the game. Additoinal assets of the precursors have been added, along with the completed PRAWN suit update. And lastly, dont forget about expanded Aurora compartments and data pads to check out, adding volumes to the implimented story. Incoming are sea emporer and the finishing touches to the Lost River biome.
But really what is most important right now is that we can now quit to the main menu, thank god.
EDIT: 02/04/2018
I stopped updating this thread some time ago, since development was happening faster than I could get around to writing about it. But enough of this thought:
Ladies and Gentelmen? SUBNAUTICA IS OUT.
This game, which I have supported for years, stands as a shining beacon of what Seam Early Access game should be. The Devs delivered a deep and compelling story woven through a complex and stunning world, at an extremley affordable price. Every cent spent in support of this amazing team is another dollar for devs who respect the consumers time and financial resources. I thank them for giving me the pleasure of exploration, suspense, and danger in a new environment rarley seen in gaming history. After so many soul-less abominations out of EA and other AAA titles in 2017, Subnautica is my refuge when I want to FEEL game, and not just play it.
It one of those titles where I wish I could erase my memory and experince, just so I could live through the wonder all over again. Its time to lay this thread to rest, guys. We did it together, as a community. Enjoy Subnautica.
So stop looking at the negative reviews. Buy this god damn game.
1679 votes funny
76561198059000206

Recommended23 hrs played (4 hrs at review)
The ocean is brighter than my future 420/10
1621 votes funny
76561198034019076

Recommended78 hrs played (13 hrs at review)
-Start Game
-Graphics are nice. Water is nice. Colors are nice. Game looks nice.
-Justkeepswimming
-Start getting hungry, catch fish and eat them.
-Exploring. Hey look, kelp.
-See big white fish approach me. Curious.
-It opens it's mouth
-DANGER WILL ROBINSON
-Throw fish from inventory to distract it.
-It eats fish and leaves. Relief is felt.
-White fish comes back. Uh oh...
-It has something in it's mouth.
-Drops it at my feet. It's metal...
-Me and the fish have a standing agrement now. I feed it and it gives me metal
11/10 would make fish friends again.
1572 votes funny
76561198099713982

Recommended52 hrs played (47 hrs at review)
Subnautica VR be like:
Before I played:
\\ _
\( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
< ⌒ヽ
/ へ\
/ / \\
レ ノ ヽ_つ
/ /
/ /|
( (ヽ
| |、\
| 丿 \ ⌒)
| | ) /
`ノ ) Lノ
After I played:
/フフ ム`ヽ
/ ノ) ,) ヽ
/ | ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)ノ⌒(ゝ._,ノ
/ ノ⌒7⌒ヽーく \ /
丶_ ノ 。 ノ、 。|/
`ヽ `ー-'_人`ーノ
丶  ̄ _人'彡)
I have to swim more...
1226 votes funny
76561198110882871

Recommended328 hrs played (156 hrs at review)
Here is where you should avoid.
Don't go to the Dunes, a desert looking place with pillars. It spawns a Reaper Leviathan.
Don't go to the Aurora. It spawns a Reaper Leviathan.
Don't go to the Mountains, you can get trapped on the island too. It spawns a Reaper Leviathan.
Don't go to the Deep Grand Reef, which is the deep end. It spawns a Reaper Ghost Leviathan.
Here is where you should go.
Nowhere, just stay in the raft and talk to Mr. Tissue, Mr. Coin, and Mr. Potato Chip because it is not safe outside.
10/10 would not go to the Dunes again. Ever.
EDIT: Now with Nopesquids!
EDIT EDIT: Don't be surprised if you find you've filled your stillsuit with piss my scuba lads.
Don't go to the Active Lava Zone, which is the deeper deep end. It spawns a Sea Dragon Leviathan.
Don't go to the Lost River, where there is water underwater. It spawns a Ghost Leviathan.
Don't swim out of the game you fool, stay out of the void. It spawns many GIANT Ghost Leviathans that want you to stay in the Dunes, Aurora, Mountains, Deep Grand Reef, Active Lava Zone, and Lost River.
1208 votes funny
76561198144029718

Recommended167 hrs played (17 hrs at review)
*starts game*
*explores the pod*
*spends 5 minutes looking for an exit*
*finally leaves the pod*
*explores everything around*
*finds stone, breaks it and gets copper*
*sees big fish, tries to punch it*
*dead*
*discovers the use of fabricator*
*starts making things*
*makes mobile vehicle bay*
*builds a seamoth after 2 hours of gameplay*
*goes exploring*
*hears a terrifying roar*
*looks back*
*huge white thing with 4 mandibles(later i discovered the name was reaper) gets me in the seamoth*
*has a heart attack*
*seamoth is destroyed*
*quits game*
*still having a heart attack*
10/10 increased my fear of the sea
1155 votes funny
76561197967844955

Recommended66 hrs played (45 hrs at review)
This game makes me severely wet
1132 votes funny
76561198105428813

Recommended1 hrs played (1 hrs at review)
I can see my feet.
10/10
873 votes funny
76561198145239905

Recommended6 hrs played
Has a lot more "depth" than No Mans Sky. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
844 votes funny
76561198069034473

Recommended15 hrs played (15 hrs at review)
Billionaire tax dodger simulator.
839 votes funny
76561197994776966

Recommended161 hrs played (26 hrs at review)
This is like Finding Nemo simulator except you kidnap Nemo and all his friends and cook them with a laser microwave so you don't starve to death in the ocean. Also there's scary fish that kill you.
780 votes funny
76561198119497765

Recommended28 hrs played (4 hrs at review)
1- Wanted to build a huge submarine
2- Realised that it would take a long time
3- Told myself to..... JUST DO IT!!!!!!
4- Built a submarine
5- Crashed it with in 2 minutes of building it
6- Cried for 6 days
14.52/10 would cry again ;)
737 votes funny
76561198297651779

Recommended66 hrs played (65 hrs at review)
Logitech controller doesn't work 💀💀💀
685 votes funny
76561198143096084

Recommended32 hrs played (12 hrs at review)
“
Here is where you should avoid.
Don’t go to the Dunes, a desert looking place with pillars. It spawns a Reaper Leviathan.
Don’t go to the Aurora. It spawns a Reaper Leviathan.
Don’t go to the Mountains, you can get trapped on the island too. It spawns a Reaper Leviathan.
Don’t go to the Deep Grand Reef, which is the deep end. It spawns a Reaper Leviathan.
Here is where you should go.
Nowhere, just stay in the raft and talk to Mr. Tissue, Mr. Coin, and Mr. Potato Chip because it is not safe outside.
”
659 votes funny
76561198090017297

Recommended8 hrs played (4 hrs at review)
absolutely terrifying, made it 3 kilometes deep, creep sound happend, scared and couldn't see, quit game.
12/10
571 votes funny
76561197997252595

Recommended65 hrs played (22 hrs at review)
I hate the ocean.
Now i hate it even more.
But i'll be damned if i let the ocean beat me.
569 votes funny
76561198068130909

Recommended115 hrs played (30 hrs at review)
I was kinda skeptical about buying this game at first, since most games i've bought in early access kindddaaa sucked majorly. Although I found a good deal on it and decided to try it out..
GAMEPLAY:
My first hour went a little like this;
"Oh this is actually a very pretty game"
"Where's all the land?"
"Look at all these crazy fish, they are so cute!"
"Wait what are you?... OHFUKMAN GET AWAY FROM ME"
"GET OFF MY ARM YOU SQUID WORM LEECH LOOKING THING"
"WHY IS EVERYTHING TRYING TO KILL ME??"
"This looks like a safe place... HOLY SH*T WHERE DID YOU COME FROM???"
This game takes all of your fears of the deep dark ocean and puts them on steroids, every time that little thought crosses your mind that your survival chance can't get any worse, it can and it will. It's almost like this game runs on your "I hope this doesn't happen" thoughts.
STORY:
The whole plot of the game is one of the biggest area's still being worked on, it's more focused on gameplay and mechanics at the moment. I have to say though, the general background and lore of the game is very interesting and i'm excited to play through it when it's finished.
PERFORMACE:
First off, when you read all the reviews about the crashing and "needing a beast computer to play" isn't true at all. I have never had a crash, none of my friends have ever crashed, and if you really can't run this game at a playable FPS then you probably need to stop trying to use a baked potato for a graphics card. This game is put together far better than most fully released games i've seen. Yes, my framerate isn't pushing 80-120fps BUT considering my laptop is about 3 years old and I still manage 30-50fps on a gorgeous game like this is amazing.There really aren't any serious bugs, the most you really run into is like a light glitch or maybe a fish getting stuck in the ground, nothing game breaking. The mechanics and actual gameplay are FANTASTIC, I have to give the dev's credits for a real original survival game (since almost every one of them now-a-days are about the same with either zombies, cannibals, or just nature; but underwater alien horror survival? That's new).
I HIGHLY recommend this game and if you actually read this shitty review, i'm sorry I suck at this. Just buy the damn game, it's worth every penny and you'll enjoy the hell out of it.
555 votes funny
76561198129280247

Recommended64 hrs played (64 hrs at review)
A good game but something is wrong with the drivers for the Logitech G F710 gamepad. I was piloting my cyclops near the wreck of the Aurora and suddenly lost the ability to move, eventually my batteries ran out and I died from lack of oxygen.
476 votes funny
76561198113396356

Recommended12 hrs played (11 hrs at review)
Nothing like going down so far into the ocean you can only hear the giant monster preparing to tear your face off. lovely.
454 votes funny
76561198332759027

Recommended31 hrs played (31 hrs at review)
Hello, Im under da water, please help me
445 votes funny
76561198013748040

Recommended2 hrs played (1 hrs at review)
Subnautica: The only game in wich your own submarine tries to kill you.
444 votes funny