Since the Post-Napoleonic Era, Steam users have been tirelessly searching for new ways to beat up friends and strangers. Brawlhalla is one of the latest and greatest in the development of tools to achieve these noble ends.
The game delivers a 2D Super Smash Brothers-esque experience to the PC, enabling you to beat up people by means not necessarily limited to beating up your keyboard and suicide bombing that would make Osama Bin Laden proud.
Brawlhalla offers a rich array of characters. You can pick from the following eight-fingered legends:
-A sentient suit of armor powered by Iranian weapons-grade Plutonium,
-Cowman the Unbroken,
-Super Mohawk Obama,
-A Norse man with a small sword and big bear balls,
-Cuauhtémoc’s snake charming love child born from his affair with Queen Isabella,
-Diesel-powered Mad Max,
-The infamous Burgundian Baguette Burglar of Bordeaux,
-Asgard’s mini golfing and pole vaulting champion extraordinaire,
-A spooky scary skeleton,
-A demonic mosh pit ninja,
-The guy who formed the United Kingdom by subjugating Scotland and Ireland with nothing but his beard,
-The girl who made Britannia rule the waves and the sky with lots of steam,
-A cyclops alien Crip from Planet Ferguson (contrary to developer propaganda, Roldakk-9 was actually the city of Ferguson, Missouri),
-A wolf-riding elven Greenpeace activist,
-The gun-toting, law-enforcing cowgirl who inspired Chuck Norris to become a Texas Ranger,
-G.N.A.S.H. Genocidal Neolithic Abominable Smashing Homosapien,
-A heroine from a hi-tech cyberpunk future who is surprisingly adept with a primitive spear,
-A homeless guy from down the alleyway who acquired a sword and a pirate hat,
-A savage anthropomorphic tiger who drove the British out of India. Gandhi promptly took all the credit.
-A teleporting samurai who materializes wooden planks out of thin air,
And the lastest addition,
The vampire-hunting daughter of Scarlet and Lucien who whips people with bungee cords.
In your quest to savagely beat up your friends as well as strangers, you will have a variety of signature moves and weapons at your disposal. These include:
-The Helicopter,
-The Upside-Down Helicopter,
-The Black Lives Matter Hammer,
-A little Birdy,
-Mini golfing with a Battle Axe,
-Storm Surge from Hurricane Katrina,
-A Tractor Beam,
-Roundhouse Kicks,
-Old-Fashioned Uppercuts,
-Jousting,
-The Dust Bowl,
-Hiawatha Snake Magics,
-Slow-Motion Gunplay,
-Pretending to play a xylophone in midair on someone’s face with a pair of pistols,
-The Broadside Cannon Barrage,
-The Incredibly Versatile Human Torpedo,
-The Baguette Butcher,
-Using a massive hammer as a pooper scooper,
-Spikey Balls,
-and Land Mines.
Overall, after sustained play, your friends will go down in flames and your keyboard will go up in smoke. Therefore, Brawlhalla provides a satisfying experience.
For the price of free, it is outright foolhardy to skip out on this game.
