Our only doctor, aptly named Doctor, got a bad case of the Mondays and decided to take a walk while the colony's leader suffered from an extremely infected neck wound he had recieved defending the colony. Our leader struggled bravely but without medical care he died a painful labored death. Farter, our brave leader's dog, took this loss especially hard and lacked an emotional coping strategy. He tore out our cook Herman's throat out as he was preparing his famous boomalope casserole. Sprinkles, the custodian, was the next to go. The dog found our one armed janitor enjoying a beer in the common room. Sprinkles defended himself admirably but all was in vain as there is no viable defense against a grief stricken canine. Farter ripped off Sprinkles' remaining arm and dutifully trudged outside. He found Doctor strolling amongst the palm fronds, feeling sorry for himself and presumeably writing weepy poetry about his trials and sorrows. Doctor pleaded his case to Farter. How could this dog not understand that the living room had been too dirty? THREE DIRT PILES IN THE LIVING ROOM!? How can he save lives if there are THREE DIRT PILES IN THE LIVING ROOM? What kind of kiddy pool operation would make a PROFESSIONAL work under conditions like that? Is it any wonder he had to get out of there and take a power jog? Surely, our great and brave leader would have understood, right? THREE DIRT PILES! Death did not come quickly for Dr. Doctor. The bite had crushed his spine and only after two hard days did he finally succumb to the elements and starvation. As for Farter, his job was over. It was time to rest. His victories had come at too great a cost and the defensive wounds he had taken each battle were taking their toll. Farter limped his way back into the colony base, past Herman still bleeding out amongst his boomalope meat, over Sprinkles' now armless body, by his master's gangrenous corpse, through the three dirt piles and into the freezer. Farter laid down. His frozen body was the last they found, behind a crate of strawberries. Good boy, Farter. Good boy.

Started my first ever colony, had a guy and a mother with her son. Mother and Son started a relationship, wanted me to build a large bed so they could sleep together. Mother hunted by day and slept with her son by night. A pirate came in and stood in my door. People opened fire. One of them went melee and got shot in the back by his friends. So my pet attacked melee instead. Eventually the pirate died. Pet died because he was bleeding and I didn't notice. People ate raw animals and the pirate. Bad mood because they didn't like eating the pirate raw. The mother died in a fight with a boar. So her son and lover had a mental break down, attacked the other guy and was killed by the other guy. So I had a single guy left. He ate his friends, had a mental breakdown, ignited his whole home, wandered around the home, touched a wall, went up in flames and died. 11/10, going to watch some tutorials instead.

I started quite innocently at a save, three wonderful colonists. Things were going well, I got some growth up and my happy colonists were making friends with the visitors. My farms were doing exeptionally well, and after not too long, I had over one thousand in Rice, Potatoes and corn. In addition to quite a lot of strawberries. All of this in my refridgerated room. I figured I didn't have to worry about food for a long while. I was wrong. I got the fine idea of buying a hen and a rooster from a traveller, thinking eggs would make some fine additions to my food storage. I made a barn and made sure all the animals had access to food. Focusing on other things, I completely forgot about the animals for a while. Until all of a sudden there were 30 chickens. I was a little shocked about the rate in which they'd grown, and started a hay farm to give them an alternate food source that didn't ruin me. This would all be good and dandy in no time. I was wrong. By the time I'd gotten the hay sowed and partially grown, I was down to less than 500 of all vegetables. And to top it off, a blight was around the corner and completely destroyed all my crops. I had to start over. Completely panicked, I slaughtered some chickens. At this point, it was 70+. So I figured taking 25 of them to the slaughterhouse would give me some time. I was very wrong. Desperately looking for a way out, I had to slaughter another 20 something chickens. Now they were approaching 70 again. I was just hoping for a caravan to show up so that I could sell some chickens and buy some veggies. I got some hay grown and decided to cut off the chickens access to all other food sources. Now they were getting past 80. But I had some hay, hoping it would work out, I kept at it. I didn't mind the chickens for a while, until I noticed that some of them were starving. By then, I'd gotten my veggie count back up a few hundreds. I let the chicken into my pantry. And forgot about it. Some time later and A LOT of chickens later, a caravan finally appear, so I figure, finally, time to sell some chickens. Let's check how many I've got. FUCKING 241 chickens is what I've got! And they've pretty much cleaned out all my food by this point. Angered and slightly panicked. I sell ALL the chickens. The caravan wanted them cheap, but I didn't care, I just wanted them gone. So, some 1600 Silver later, I happily decide that my days as a chicken farmer is over, And get four alpacas instead. I was delighted. Finally, no more chickens! The caravan takes on it's way and I go about my merry business of rebuilding my food stock. Until all of a sudden it pops up in the corner 'Chicken 13 has gotten food poisoning from rice'. Puzzled, I look over to the barn, and fucking sure enough, I have more chickens! It's at this point I remember, chickens lay eggs. The chickens I had before laid eggs, I fucking forgot to sell the eggs! So I go at it again, harvesting my hay crops early and locking them away from the food supply, mad at myself for forgetting the damned eggs. But these are just tiny little chickens. They don't lay eggs, yet. So I decided to let them live until they're adults so I can slaughter them for their meat. And I go about on my merry way. GUESS WHAT, CHICKENS LAY EGGS. And these started laying eggs because I forgot about them and they grew up! I got angry, because I could see where this was going. So I marked them all for slaughter and forcefed the eggs to my innocent settlers. They didn't like it very much, but I couldn't wait until the next caravan to come along. Now I don't run a chicken farm anymore. I will never get chickens again. I love alpacas. 10/10 would do again. A perfect 5/7 score for keeping me entertained

I can stop whenever i want

When I was first recommended this game, I thought to myself, "Man, $30 for some indie game I have never heard in my damned life. Sounds like a scam to me." Well, as it turns out, I bought it anyway. And for what the $30 is worth? It's a fucking scam. The game plays out where you have a couple people on a ship, or something, and crashlanding into what is pretty much a space version of the wild west. These pawns are what pretty much what you use to play the game. You essentially kind of psudeo-control these pawns that don't have functioning brains, and you set up schedules, work priorities, all that colony simulator stuff. The entire game is just based around managing your colony; at least, that's what my first impressions were. A random bandit raid comes 30 minutes into the game. Only one guy. Probably a self-proclaimed pirate. No big deal, my pawns just gunned him down. Now, we have this unslightly guy outside of our base, bleeding out because he thought he could 1v3 my colony like he was some Metal Gear assassin sort of guy. Oh, then I checked his stats. You see, in this game, pawns have these designated stats that are all trainable. These stats are sort of like an RPG trope ordeal where you have to train them at those skills so they get better stats. The pawns I started out with, one was an okay constructor, the other a doctor, and the third one was not good at anything, but she could still kind of get the job done. Now, this pirate? He had the most atrocious stats I have ever seen in my life. In fact, he was only good at one thing, which was punching. Couldn't even help with the farm or anything because he was 'incapable' of doing so. Any sort of skilled labor just wasn't his thing. Still, I decided to tidy him up, and try to recruit him. After all, you may be only good at one thing, but we sure as hell need a janitor to clean these dirty as hell rooms, since the dirt and grime was pretty much pissing off my pawn's moodlet bars. Few hours go by, and I'm already invested into this brawler janitor guy. You see, my colonists wanted everything. They wanted a good looking bedroom, a place to lounge in, some horseshoes to play with, but not the janitor dude. He was an ascetic. Gave him a garbage room with dirt as his floor and an awful bed. He didn't mind it. No, in fact, he was happy with it. This guy pretty much never had a crappy mood and just did his work, no questions asked. Cleaned the kitchen, the dining room, the bedrooms, the farms, the outside, without a single complaint. I liked him. He was cool. Our colony started booming. Naturally, when any colony starts to get rolling, they start rolling hard. And when the colony gets rolling, the money starts rolling right in. You see, we were the biggest dealer in corn that the world had ever seen. Every time a trading caravan from a neighboring colony came in, we got ourselves a giant wad of cash for every harvest of every year. And with that giant wad of cash, as any functional human being would do, we started spending that on a bunch of cool as hell stuff. Shield belts. Charge rifles. Bionic body parts. Gigantic statues. And of course, an EXCESS amount of chocolate. Because why the hell not. Well, of course, since we were pretty much balling on money, people started to take notice. And, unfortunately, not all of them were good people. Pirate raids started to come in, and we fought them off every time. Every time we finished a raid, we'd go ahead, and try to recruit some of these guys. Some of them joined, others were still hesitant. Sooner or later, we had a massive prison size of 11 people, and 7 people as colonists. With that population, food was bound to dwindle, but I figured that it wouldn't have mattered since we were in a tropical rain forest, where food was everywhere, and farming season was pretty much all the time. I was woefully unprepared for the events to come. Some other city thought that it was an absolute GENIUS idea to use their chemical radioactive fuel or whatever, and as it turned out, it wasn't so genius after all. My entire region was poisoned. By toxic fallout. Thing is, it's impossible to grow crops outside in a toxic fallout. So my entire crop system started dying out. Well, I figured, maybe we can hold out on food stores for a while, and I did just that. Food stores cut in half after the first week. Toxic fallout wasn't letting up any time soon, so I was forced to let go of the prisoners outside to fend for themselves. My colony was going to be eaten out of food, and I wasn't going to let my colonists starve just to feed some idiots who do not understand the gloriousness of my colony. Luckily for me, the fallout lifted right before our food stores would hit zero. Of course, right after that happened, I started hauling ass, telling my pawns to get to work farming right away so we would have food again. Then, a ship crashlands straight into the north side of my base. I had no idea what that thing was. It sat there for a few days, humming some weird crap, then I noticed that it was making snow. And killing plants around it. It was the same god damned 'toxic fallout' thing, but this time, it was spreading from the ship. I hated toxic fallout. It forced me to let go of all the prisoners I was about to recruit. It made me lose farming time that could have been spent farming corn. So naturally, with my hate for this poison ship, I woke up my colonists, and then attacked the ship. What happened next, I couldn't believe it. Robot aliens. Counted 4 super-sized centipede slug things and 5 scyther robot things. I have never seen robot aliens up until this point, so I had no idea what these things were capable of. We started shooting them down. The mechanoids were not fazed. One of the scythers took a shot. Aimed it. Fired. My best shooter instantly died as the charged weapon shredded his brains out. I was forced to move retreat back to the base, where the sandbags were so they could take cover. Meanwhile, the centipedes just arrived as reinforcements after the scythers were sniping my main defending force off one by one. The centipedes started mowing everyone down; colonists died left and right. The only people left at this point was the doctor, who was bleeding out fast, and the janitor, who was rescuing the doctor to the hospital. In a last ditch effort to try to save what I had left, I sent my janitor to rush into the fray. As he charged in, a scyther instantly broke his shield with a well-timed shot. The janitor cleanly swiped off the scyther's neck, downing it, and then moved onto the next scyther. A bystanding scyther, watching this take place, takes fire only to accidentally shoot his ally directly in the thorax. With it down, he moved towards the last scyther. This time wasn't so lucky for him. The fourth scyther sliced at his right arm, destroying it, as the scyther dodged his attacks, and sliced again at his neck, swiftly decapitating his head clean off. In a manner of minutes, my entire colony was dismantled. The buildings were razed in an inferno, and all my colonists had died, save for one. The doctor, whimpering in the corner of the hospital; the floor soaked in her own blood. I watched for the last few minutes as she bled out, and died right there. Alone, as the building around her burnt into ashes and crumbled. I felt bad. My colony was short-lived. I thought I had it all. I thought I was invincible. Hell, I survived a toxic fallout. Of course I thought I was invincible. And I was so invested into that colony too. So, I decided. This game is a god damn scam. What kind of sane developer makes me feel this emotion, in a video game no less? A crook, that's who. For $30, you made me suffer. You made me addicted to this game, to the point where I have played for a total of 300 hours as of this review. All I can say, Tynan Sylvester, is that you are a crook. A damned good one, at that.

help

Shot a guy Took him prisoner Beat him until he became retarded Beat him some more Harvested his Liver, Kidney, and Heart Took his now dead body, skinned it for meat and human leather Ate the meat Took the Human leather Made a Hat. Wore the hat to his funeral. Then I bought Rimworld.

Ran a sweet little colony called 'Haven'. This random brawler joins us called Bowman, turns out he's awesome with a spear so I give him hunting duties. Bowman fearlessly defends the colony on several occasions from tribals and pirates. Anyway for some reason a bunch of beavers show up and start eating all the trees - this is unacceptable because wood is a key resource for me, so I dispatch Bowman to go and deal with them. The situation gets the better of him and unfortunately both his arms are torn off by beavers. I send another colonist out to go and rescue him and he's in a hospital bed just in time to save his life. This is annoying that I've now lost my best melee defender, but whatever I'll just buy some new arms for him and turn him into some sort of cyborg hunting machine. As luck would have it a passing trader just so happens to have a single bionic arm so I snap one up and schedule an operation to install it. My resident doctor (a criminal surgeon) is enjoying a few beers in the community centre and decides to head down to surgery because he's dedicated like that, and besides it's not like there's any laws on this planet against surgically installing bionic implants whilst under the influence. I watch the surgery progress with a bit of blood being splashed around but I have full confidence in my drunk, skill level 6 surgeon. But then things take a turn for a worse and I am notified that, regretably, Bowman has not survived the procedure. Devestated I go and inspect the colonists health panel and discover that my semi-competent, semi-sober surgeon has accidentally surgically removed his heart. I have never in my life laughed so hard whilst playing a computer game. Long story short, in the days preceeding a ton of pirates show up, kill the vast majority of my colonists, enslave the rest and then burn my colony to the ground. That in a nutshell is the story of 'Haven'.

Gets repetitive eventually, I doubt you'll get more than a couple of thousand hours out of it.

I still get misty when I remember my pet raccoon Willy. Willy had already lost all four legs defending me from prior attacks by bandit raiders. We came under attack again and the raiders made it inside our base and a bandit cornered me in my bedroom, I was finished for sure! Willy wriggled on his belly across the floor and bit the ankle of the bandit who began shooting at Willy, giving me time to charge the bandit and take him down but Willy had been shot! Willy saved my life, but he was critically injured and dying. We rushed Willy to the medical bay and managed to stabilize him. Not only would Willy live, while in surgery the doctor was able to attach four new wooden peg legs! When Willy was awake and healed he was able to scamper across the potato fields on his new wooden legs, hero and protector of our village!

i have 52 cats. every winter, we run out of food, and my colonists starve. the cats eat their bodies and last long enough until the next summer. if we are lucky a raid of many tribal men will arrive and the cats will have food for months. the cats have kittens, and then we have more cats and need more food. i do not think we will leave this planet homer, the original pet of the colony has been made fully bionic and will now never die. he is our true leader

I've been playing since alpha 6, and this game is great. This is the recent story of my A14 colony. Mate touches down on the planet, with his cat, Enrique. He is great at construction and growing. We plant Potatoes and dig a hole for ourselves. New guy comes in, AMAZING at mining. He goes crazy because he slept on the cave floor. Mate shoots him 17 times because he punched him in the gut. He dies. New lady comes in, chased by pirates. Grabs pistol off dead man, capture pirate with amazing speech. Mate's Father parachutes in like "YO SON, I GOT AN INFECTION IN MAH KNEE" We harvest, food is good. Mate's Father dies of infection, Mate dies inside. Prisoner with great speech dies of infection. New guy comes! Good speech, amazing construction. Pirates attack. Mid attack, architect has a mental breakdown because I told him to wake up to try to save Mate's dad's life. He attacks and kills a chinchilla while the pirates shoot him with shoddy pistols. THEY KILL MY GODDAMN CAT Mate goes on a mental breakdown rampage because they killed his cat. He slaughters them all. Lady patches him up. They become lovers. They get married. They get happier, though noone else comes for a long time. Together, they fend off wave after wave of pirates, and the local tribe comes to our aid. New guy comes in, HAS 15 FUCKING POINTS IN SHOOTING Mate gives pulse rifle to new guy. Bugs infest us, Sniper snipes them as they walk out. We lock them in the room to farm the jelly. We decide there is enough in there, and slaughter most of them as they try to stop our boi from stealing jelly. Rinse and repeat, we have a jelly farm now. We prosper, forgetting the tragedies of the past. We recruit 10 others, a camel, and a Panther. We build a ship, to space we must go! 50 Goddamn pirates come in. We hide in our space pods. 15 shooter guy guards the entrance, getting everyone inside. Mate, now an old man, with now, a shooting skill of 11, defends the line along with his power armoured brother. The turrets fall, and explode. I send our emergency pet boomalope to ALAN SNACKBAR them. Mate falls, shot many times, his armour pierced. He is still alive, his best friend, the 15 shooter guy, kills another pirate, and picks him up. He is shot many times in the back as he runs his friend to the cryosleep module. As he puts him in, he breaks, and kills the last of them. Our doctor gets out, and carries him into his pod, the last one. We leave behind 50 bodies, and a functioning colony. There is nothing there but tragedy now. Since this got so big, I just gotta say, you need to give the game a chance, because there is quite a big learning curve if you aren't used to it,

> Getting raided by some tribal savages > Murderize™ the Shit out of them > One unconsious tribal savage survivor, Non existiant combat skills and incapable of most other jobs > Throw him in the prison > Torture him with ancient phycic artifacts we stole from one of his factions caravans > Brain sets on fire a couple of times, left essensally braindead > Forcibly remove his arms and replace them with ancient robot arm blades > He gets recuited into the colony > Everyone hates him due to him being disfigured and braindamaged > Almost no mobility, manipulation and consiousness due to forcibly installed knife arms and brain damage > First thing he does with his freedom is he takes a joint from the kitchen and takes it to someone elses room > Smokes it and immidiately dies, due to the smokeleaf lowering his already nonexitant brain function to that of a potato > Avarage mood of the colony goes up as most of the colonists rival just died, They have a party > Colony wolves gorge themselves on his corpse

its so good i bought it after pirating it

i got 200 down votes on reddit cause i used a wooden floors in my base

I've spent over 900 hours building colonies, creating stories, and committing war crimes in many different environments. Now I'm able to do it in Rimworld, too!

Full underground base, chemfuel stored in a granite room with no cables in the walls so I figured it was safe, a Zzzt event set a colonist on fire who fled into the chemfuel stockpile, the stockpile exploded destroying the wall between it and the hallway. The initial explosion was fairly well contained but the heat from the fire raised the temperature in the communal hall to several hundred degrees in about 15 seconds then all the furniture caught fire as well. there was nowhere for the heat to go and relatively little space to heat up so it turned the whole place into a furnace, even the coolers caught fire, then the food caught fire. The communal hall included all the hallways that went throughout my base (ironically to make temperature control easier) so there was no way to get out of the base other than to go through the communal hall. One dumbass died in the initial explosion, three caught fire in the halls before reaching the shelter of the adjacent rooms, those already in those rooms caught fire as they were dying of heatstroke, the communal hall reached over two thousand degrees Celsius. There were no survivors.

Heavily recommended game! And the following play-through should make you either highly appalled or very interested: - Started off with a monkey as a pet. Named her "Butters", but later on my pet monkey took a liking to another guy named Bones. It made me a tiny bit sad. - Built a nice settlement, made the entire surroundings and buildings out of the easiest findable supply around: wood. - Ended up with 5 villagers after having successfully defended our 'village' a couple of times and converted 2 of the pirate prisoners to join our cause. They eventually did. (I'm skipping the story about the micromanagement and supply hoarding business - you'll learn about this on the spot yourself.) - I thought I had things going smoothly. Perhaps a bit too flawless. Characters got along well and two of them actually married eachother early on. It was a joyful moment for Bones and Greta. Bones had a dislike for clothes, so he was always running around naked which was not appreciated by some. But apparently he had a passion for farming and was well endowed. Greta took the earliest opportunity and showed him some loving. Greta was listed as a lazy and weapon hating person, but not too lazy to chase down some 'bone'. Good for her. - My self created character, named Adante, was a tireless fat miner and the other two people named Dorothy and Hunter were your average run of the mill converted prisoners from earlier battles. Dorothy could cook up some decent meals and Hunter, well, as the name implies, he was hunting down the animals for the food to make nice meals mixed up with the harvested crops from our farms. Luxurious and plentiful meals of variety. Even salt was added for flavour. But then an event changed the atmosphere quite rapidly: - A nasty cobra snuck into the settlement and had its fangs set on Butters, the pet Monkey, and I did not notice as I was looking to mine some shizzle. - They battled eachother like no tomorrow and the fight lasted quite long because by the time I had actually noticed, the pet monkey had all her limbs bitten off by the snake and was crying for help while still being pounded by the Cobra. - The sound of the monkey cries... it still traumatizes me to this day. - Bones probably noticed long before I did, but hey, he loves being naked and probably didn't want to risk being bitten in dangling places so did nothing to help out. - Hunter, however, eventually shot & killed the cobra before it could put a killing blow on the poor limbless cryin' monkey. - Butters was then picked up by Hunters, carried and put in Bones' room to keep him comfortable with some painkillers while we figure out a way to get his limbs back. There are ways in this game to do so, be it four wooden pegs or made out of other technology, but it takes some craftmanship to pull this off. - By the time that we've managed to construct these, an electric storm came down on the settlement as if it was telling us: YOUR INTENTIONS ARE NOBLE BUT THE MONKEY MUST DIE! (Now, here's a lesson I've learned: Never make your ENTIRE settlement out of wood.) - The storm caused fire to start and spread like wildfire. - All villagers were alerted and commanded to extinguish the fire. - The fire became so intense, and spread from the storages and houses straight to the farm area (and all over the entire map, all animals and trees on the entire map were burned alive.) - Now, the house in which Butters was still 'recovering' was also hit by the fire. I sent my main character Adante to help out but the fire enclosed the area in a rapid speed. My fat miner and his slow jigglywiggly runs could not win that race by a long shot. He was a hauler, not a speedy gonzalez. - Butters, the poor cursed monkey, just shrieked and screamed her lungs out when the fire was getting closer and closer after every second. - So within seconds, we could hear the cries again, of a pet Monkey. Not only in pain from snake bites and losing all limbs before, but now also jumping by the belly up & down inside her once comfortable pet-bed, being on fire. - Every villager probably had tears in the eyes from that whole ordeal once the fire started demanding the limbless body and a Monkey fighting for the last breath of her life. - I made Bones, since he's supposedly the new master of Butters, go into the flames and try to retrieve the monkey while the plan was to let him carry the monkey into the water at a nearby lake. - This turned Bones into a running naked man carrying a limbless monkey across the settlement, while both being on fire. - The outcome of this is probably easy to guess. They burned together, into (what it seemed) a neverending sea of flames and emotion. - I ordered all my other villagers to stand in the water of the lake and wait out the fire frenzy. They were all depressed and Greta simply lost it and ran into the firesea on her own accord due to severe depression. After the fire died, I stopped playing and told the story to my girlfriend. Her eyes opened wide and then the question came: "What kind of f***ed up game is that?" Rimworld, my dear. It's Rimworld. -true story- As you can see I've been playing this game for another 2000 hours from the point of my initial review back in 2017. The game itself has grown so substantially and in so many positive directions. The modders play a great part in this as the content that is being made makes the game even more enjoyable. There will be more and more content in the future as well as more official DLC's which, to me, is very exciting. The maker(s) of the game together with the Rimworld community really made something special that will last you with endless of hours of amazing gameplay. I cannot praise this game higher than I already do and I highly recommend to anyone reading this that you give this a try!

It's okay. Just finished the tutorial. EDIT: As an update. The DLCs have tutorials too.

you'll get at least a couple hours out of it

My wife doesn't like or play video games. She loves Rimworld. I've never seen her touch anything else. When "we" play, I set up the base, make sure the power stays on and the healroot is harvested. The mother of my children, the light of my life, sits next to me and plays the game by suggesting things like "The colony could make far more silver if we were to simply imprison raiders, remove organs, skin, butcher and consume their flesh." I thought I knew everything about this lady. Damn. We've spent all 1,176 hours in this game together.

Nine cats wandered into my colony and I was happy The cats ate through my colony's food so quickly that everyone started starving and I was worried I killed, skinned, and cooked eight of the cats to survive out of desperation and I was sad The one cat I kept started eating the cat meat on the floor and I was mortified One of my colonists got too stressed and started smashing stuff, causing a fire that killed the final cat and I was angry I stripped the colonist naked and banished him to the forest as punishment where he was captured by slave traders and I felt nothing This game is truly an emotional rollercoaster

My Review: - Start new game - Fight off raiders - Wedding!! :D - Figure "Huh, this is a good time to get glass of water" (The game pauses for bad events), left game running - Wedding begins - Late at end of day, everyone hungry - While getting water... - Groom freaks out and goes on an eating binge - All 11 wedding guests sit around while he eats - Come back to computer at this point, maybe 10 mintues later - 11 Members of society have gotten stick from lack of food (malnutrition) and were locking in wedding mode - All 11 laying around incapacitated and can not walk, slowly dying of malnutrition - Groom is wandering around in a psychotic daze because he doesn't want to wear clothes - Groom removes all clothes and procedes naked ... - Wait for groom to come back to himself - Becomes normal - Groom instantly goes nutzo because he is sick because he caught a cold taking all his clothes off - Groom walks around the church I built FOR HIS WEDDING, systematically beating to death all the starving wedding guests and his fiance, then butchering the farm animals 11/10 Would watch Kill Bill pt 1 all over again

Three colonists crash land in a forest. "Young" and "Walsh" hit it off immediately and get engaged. "Hun" is a hard worker that gets things done. Compound slowly expands over time, including steel buildings completely surrounded by a steel wall. We are invincible. Get a distress call from an old woman running from some angry tribals. We save her and kill/capture the tribals (their bow and arrows are no match for our rifle and pistol). She joins us and becomes our charismatic chef. Get another distress call from a big geologist. Prepare to fight tribals, instead put up against trained soldiers in nano armor and energy weapons. Find out that we are, in fact, not invincible. Hun is killed, Walsh is downed (but rescued by Young), and the old woman disappears without a trace (seriously no idea what happened to her, no corpse or anything). We managed to down one of the soldiers. Young equipped his armor/weapon and killed a second soldier causing them all to flee. Walsh gets better and both he and Young are fully equipped in nano armor with energy weapons. Now we are definitely invincible. Another group of tribals attack. They are pathetic and quickly killed outside the walls by my new energy weapons. Wait, what is this? The energy weapons set the corpses on fire? Wow that fire is spreading quickly... **5 minutes later** The entire compound is lost and half the map burnt down before it finally started to rain. Apparently those weapons run on jet fuel because my steel walls and buildings were no match for that blaze. George W Bush would be proud. RIP trapped prisoners and that group of visitors from the other colony sleeping on my floor. I guess sleeping on the floor in the ruins of the compound was bad for morale and the geologist we saved earlier snaps and starts stabbing Young. We put him down with energy weapons. Thank god there is nothing left to burn. Young eventually snaps too and starts attacking her fiancee. She is downed but survives and is healed up by Walsh (thankfully he is a doctor). Deciding that staying in the compound ruins is probably a bad idea, we move on to find some shelter elsewhere. What's this? Some kind of ancient structure? Well we have nothing to lose so maybe it will make a good temporary shelter. Break through a spot in the wall, get attacked by giant bug robots. Run around the back and draw them out, then swing back around to enter the structure. Hah, stupid robots. There is something on the ground, looks like it does something to animals...maybe it will tame the ones nearby, I could really use the help. Activate device, animals go into a man-killing rage. Every single animal on the map rushes to the structure. Young and Walsh go down in a literal blaze of glory as the swarms of animals attacking them are set on fire by the energy weapons. 10/10. Now I understand why the alien races in movies never trust humans with advanced technology.

Pawn gives birth, it is not a healthy birth, unfortunately the baby passes away. Another pawn has an extreme mental break which results in them digging up a corpse and wanting to show it to everyone. Guess which corpse she dug up and who she showed it to. 11/10