⭐ “Ark: Survival Confusion – now with prettier dinos and more rage quits!” ⭐
Ark: Survival Ascended is the game where you wake up naked on a beach, get killed by an angry dodo, and still think: “Yeah, this is my new lifestyle.”
Graphics:
The dinosaurs now look so good that you almost feel bad beating them with a wooden stick and stuffing them with narcoberries.
Gameplay:
You start by picking up rocks and berries… until you suddenly get one-shotted by a raptor you didn’t even see. And of course, you respawn right next to a T-Rex with anger issues.
Building:
You think: “I’ll just build a little house.”
Result: 6 hours later you’ve built a castle, only to get blown up by some 12-year-old with C4 and too much free time.
Online players:
You meet two kinds of people:
The underwear warriors with a club.
The guys riding a mutated laser T-Rex in titan armor calling you “Bob.”
Taming dinos:
You knock an animal unconscious, feed it berries, and guard it for 45 minutes from everything including bugs and biblical disasters. It’s basically being a kindergarten teacher in the Stone Age.
Conclusion:
Ark: Survival Ascended is the only game where you can get stomped to death by a bronto, develop PTSD from a bird, and still log in the next day saying:
“Today will be better.”
10/10 – would get eaten again.
ARK Survival Ascended – A Gorgeous Disaster
So, ARK: Survival Ascended is here, and there is a game in this bug somewhere!
The dinosaurs are so beautiful I almost feel guilty when a raptor inevitably chews me into pixel-perfect pieces. The landscapes look like something straight out of a nature documentary filmed in 8K. Honestly, if you just want a dinosaur-themed desktop background, this game is a masterpiece.
Unfortunately, the moment you try to actually play it, reality comes crashing down like a bronto on a wooden hut. The bugs are everywhere—so many in fact, that they outnumber the dinosaurs. Doors don’t work properly, features are broken, and half the mechanics feel like they got left behind in the fossil record. It’s less Survival Ascended and more Survival Descended Into Madness. Suspended in Early Access Forever...”
And the funniest part? This whole thing feels like it could’ve just been a free update to the original ARK. Instead, they slapped a new coat of paint on it, duct-taped it together, and charged full price. It’s like selling you the same sandwich you had yesterday, but this time they sprinkled some parsley on top and doubled the price.
Don’t get me wrong—when the game isn’t crashing or bugging out, it’s breathtaking. But “beautiful but broken” is kind of ARK’s brand at this point. Sadly, Survival Ascended is just proof that no matter how shiny you make it, chaos finds a way.
Of course, Studio Wildcard being Studio Wildcard, you can also look forward to paid mods, DLCs, and expansions—because nothing says “we care about the players” like charging you extra to fix the content you already paid for. At this point, the only thing truly ascended about ARK is the price tag.
this game is so trash. it suck every time i play can't have fun without crashing anyone who have played it without a nasa pc can agree with me i can't even have discord open on the side cause then i crash even more. and the prize is crazy its not even worth buying if it was free. and the only reason this game even was made was to pay snailgaymes massiv debt of over 3 mil dollars it apparently cost to make ark 2 and the worst part about it is that ark 2 prob first releases after Gta 9. UPDATE now i have played 20 more hours or so and its still the fucking same. now i gotta tell u that i really love the game plot and all there comes with that but the devs of this games should either get fired or quit them self
Like Ark survival Evolved u get soo addicted to this game been playing 177 hrs the last 14 days and want MORE but have to sleep.
WARNING: This game may cost ur Relation ship but who care's when u got a bigger familie in the ARK
det er synd at single player chrasher så meget så man næsten ikke kan spille det men sever play virker bare og det er virkelig et fedt spil fed grafik over ordnet set et godt spil
Looks beautiful but runs like crap i have high hopes that they optimize the game better so it's playable
Specs:
RTX 3070 TI 8G
I7-12700K
16GB of ram
Performance:
30-40 fps on medium settings with nvidia dlss on quality performance
⭐ “Ark: Survival Confusion – now with prettier dinos and more rage quits!” ⭐
Ark: Survival Ascended is the game where you wake up naked on a beach, get killed by an angry dodo, and still think: “Yeah, this is my new lifestyle.”
Graphics:
The dinosaurs now look so good that you almost feel bad beating them with a wooden stick and stuffing them with narcoberries.
Gameplay:
You start by picking up rocks and berries… until you suddenly get one-shotted by a raptor you didn’t even see. And of course, you respawn right next to a T-Rex with anger issues.
Building:
You think: “I’ll just build a little house.”
Result: 6 hours later you’ve built a castle, only to get blown up by some 12-year-old with C4 and too much free time.
Online players:
You meet two kinds of people:
The underwear warriors with a club.
The guys riding a mutated laser T-Rex in titan armor calling you “Bob.”
Taming dinos:
You knock an animal unconscious, feed it berries, and guard it for 45 minutes from everything including bugs and biblical disasters. It’s basically being a kindergarten teacher in the Stone Age.
Conclusion:
Ark: Survival Ascended is the only game where you can get stomped to death by a bronto, develop PTSD from a bird, and still log in the next day saying:
“Today will be better.”
10/10 – would get eaten again.
ARK Survival Ascended – A Gorgeous Disaster
So, ARK: Survival Ascended is here, and there is a game in this bug somewhere!
The dinosaurs are so beautiful I almost feel guilty when a raptor inevitably chews me into pixel-perfect pieces. The landscapes look like something straight out of a nature documentary filmed in 8K. Honestly, if you just want a dinosaur-themed desktop background, this game is a masterpiece.
Unfortunately, the moment you try to actually play it, reality comes crashing down like a bronto on a wooden hut. The bugs are everywhere—so many in fact, that they outnumber the dinosaurs. Doors don’t work properly, features are broken, and half the mechanics feel like they got left behind in the fossil record. It’s less Survival Ascended and more Survival Descended Into Madness. Suspended in Early Access Forever...”
And the funniest part? This whole thing feels like it could’ve just been a free update to the original ARK. Instead, they slapped a new coat of paint on it, duct-taped it together, and charged full price. It’s like selling you the same sandwich you had yesterday, but this time they sprinkled some parsley on top and doubled the price.
Don’t get me wrong—when the game isn’t crashing or bugging out, it’s breathtaking. But “beautiful but broken” is kind of ARK’s brand at this point. Sadly, Survival Ascended is just proof that no matter how shiny you make it, chaos finds a way.
Of course, Studio Wildcard being Studio Wildcard, you can also look forward to paid mods, DLCs, and expansions—because nothing says “we care about the players” like charging you extra to fix the content you already paid for. At this point, the only thing truly ascended about ARK is the price tag.
this game is so trash. it suck every time i play can't have fun without crashing anyone who have played it without a nasa pc can agree with me i can't even have discord open on the side cause then i crash even more. and the prize is crazy its not even worth buying if it was free. and the only reason this game even was made was to pay snailgaymes massiv debt of over 3 mil dollars it apparently cost to make ark 2 and the worst part about it is that ark 2 prob first releases after Gta 9. UPDATE now i have played 20 more hours or so and its still the fucking same. now i gotta tell u that i really love the game plot and all there comes with that but the devs of this games should either get fired or quit them self
Like Ark survival Evolved u get soo addicted to this game been playing 177 hrs the last 14 days and want MORE but have to sleep.
WARNING: This game may cost ur Relation ship but who care's when u got a bigger familie in the ARK
det er synd at single player chrasher så meget så man næsten ikke kan spille det men sever play virker bare og det er virkelig et fedt spil fed grafik over ordnet set et godt spil
Looks beautiful but runs like crap i have high hopes that they optimize the game better so it's playable
Specs:
RTX 3070 TI 8G
I7-12700K
16GB of ram
Performance:
30-40 fps on medium settings with nvidia dlss on quality performance
